Richard Herring Quotes

What I question about the afterlife is how many people just accept it and don’t question it, because I think living for an eternity would be much worse than dying.

Sometimes with relationships where you work in the same job, it becomes all about the job.

If you are a stand-up you can hone your material over successive performances, based on the audience response. Changing a single word or altering the pace or emphasis can make a previously failed witticism work.

There aren’t many opportunities to be a comedian on TV anymore, it’s a lot of panel shows. You don’t get much stand-up.

Most jokes are based on surprise. They take advantage of a confusion of language, or a twist in logic, or a contradiction of some perceived truth, or sometimes just saying something so shocking and offensive that the audience will gasp and then (hopefully) guffaw.

I wonder if Shakespeare ever had to write a play in 10 days while suffering from jet-lag? Probably. It would explain why his comedies are so crap.

Happiness is alluring but ungraspable, which is perhaps its ultimate appeal. Who’d really want to have it all the time?

I did WeightWatchers for a while with my then girlfriend. It worked a bit, but it’s all about losing weight rather than fat, which isn’t always helpful.

I love pulling faces at little kids on the London tube to see if I can make them laugh, and I usually do.

There is a rhythm to a good joke, a certain pacing.

I love it when people try to manufacture an injustice out of a position of clear superiority.

Rick And Morty’ is the most consistently brilliant, densely plotted and enjoyable television show I have ever seen. It’s childish, yet super-clever, without ever being clever-clever.

I went to the career adviser when I was 16, and tried to explain that I wanted to be a comedian or a writer. That was not on the list.

There are a lot of great disabled comedians.

I like churches and Catholic symbolism, and although the art at the Vatican is overwhelming to see, I appreciated it even as an atheist.

I love Pompeii. I first went when I was 18.

The Internet is a very exciting way of doing material that’s uncensored, and doesn’t have to go through TV committees, and people aren’t telling you what you can and can’t do.

I don’t like people doing jokes about disabled people for no good reason, but I can still understand why they do them.

Personally, I find it very hard to absent myself from any situation, due to overwhelming self-consciousness. There’s always a voice in my head passing comment and making sure nothing can be enjoyed for what it is.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself – and monsters.

It’s rare that you discover something by accident that resonates with your sense of humour.

In my 20s and 30s, I vociferously wanted to be single. I rarely got into long-term relationships and enjoyed going out with different people.

I’ve always liked science fiction as a way of commenting on ourselves and it’s wrong that it is seen as less valid than other art forms.

Nobody at school would have expected me to be involved in anything that might have been perceived as cool. I was trying to make people laugh all the time, but my dad was the headmaster and I was quite swotty.

Comedy is a downward slicing sword sometimes, looking down and laughing at people.

I am increasingly excited about the artistic possibilities of the Internet.

Laughter is this amazing and healing thing.

All the religions are right when they say that all the other religions are wrong.

I was into Simon & Garfunkel before my friends got into punk and laughed at me for liking Paul Simon.

Personally I find that deadlines are the best inspiration.

I went to a homoeopath once, but she just told me that I was allergic to everything that I liked.

You have to be quite aware that if you are really looking for something funny it is probably not going to happen.

In the unlikely event that I make it into heaven, I won’t be able to enjoy everlasting bliss because part of the pleasure of happiness is its transience.

My parents felt old-fashioned, growing up – they were quite disciplinarian. We went to church and had to learn music, but in hindsight it was a good thing.

I’ve long been obsessed with the fantastical and sometimes unbelievable story of the life and death of Rasputin.

I’ve run a marathon – I think that’s the most surprising thing about me.

Like many nerdy youngsters I spent much of my childhood listening to Monty Python records, learning them verbatim, fittingly parroting them.

I had always been troubled by the liberal paradox of wanting everyone to be treated the same, while at the same time respecting their cultural differences.

Comedy thrives on immediacy and I got fed up waiting months to find out if a radio sketch show was being commissioned.

I am reasonably nice-looking and have quite an expressive face, which is good for comedy.

I really like ‘Community.’ I like the way they’re allowed to have a week when they go crazy and use stop-frame animation or a different pastiche. There’s an episode with a fake clip show.

The show that first massively impacted on me was ‘Tiswas,’ with people like Lenny Henry, Chris Tarrant, John Gorman and the Phantom Flan Flinger. I loved that kind of surrealist, anarchic humour.

I love the vibe of Italy, drinking coffee and wine, and eating pasta and pizza there.

I am nearly 5ft 7in, which is short for a guy. I have the upper body of a taller man, but my legs are only 28.5in.

Coming from a comprehensive school in Somerset, entertainment didn’t seem like something that was open to you.

I was religious probably until I was about eight but I always questioned stuff very early on.

By the time I got to uni sketch comedy was much more fashionable than stand-up.

I’m investigating where our boundaries lie by sometimes overstepping those boundaries.

Sometimes my jokes are meant to be tasteless.

I have never been a massive fan of music.

I can’t be the only one who watches ‘Footloose’ and hopes that John Lithgow will stop Kevin Bacon ever dancing again.

I was in awe of my older brother, but he was also quite a threatening figure – he used to beat me up.

I often go for ages without getting my hair cut, so every now and then I’ll look like a tramp and have to go to a hairdresser.

There are funny things that come from disability.

As a comedian you have to remind yourself that it happens; every now and again you can just have a bad gig where things go beyond your control.

I have got a lovely life. The people who like me come and see me and I make a nice living. Being on TV isn’t so important. You have got to be able to do what you want to do.

I certainly don’t get any pleasure from watching someone else dancing. That’s weird. Why would anyone pay money to watch an adult dance? Just moving around in a rhythmical fashion. It’s the worst medium for artistic expression.

I would like to be strapped to a giant rocket and fired into the heart of the sun.

Watching Billy Connolly at the Hammersmith Apollo in the late 90s was a masterclass of long-form comedy.

It’s a weird thing, having a double act – I think Stew puts more energy into his solo stuff than I do, and tries to establish his independence more.

The parents in ‘You Can Choose Your Friends’ were very much Mum and Dad but my brother wasn’t like my brother, and he got quite annoyed because he thought I was saying that was what he was like.

I’ve got the whole of ‘Seinfeld’ on DVD and I keep on watching the first four series and then stopping.

I’m not interested in telling people what to think. I’m interested in making people think.

People tend to be surprised when they realise I’m only 5ft 6in. Now I tell them on my website. I think you have to point out your own deficiencies if you’re emphasising everyone else’s for a living.

You realise that, with ‘Rick and Morty,’ each episode is so deep and dense it is extraordinary. It slightly annoys me that it’s so good; it’s almost unbeatable as a TV show.

My Less Than Secret Life’ by Jonathan Ames was a revelation, as shocking as it is funny.