Craig Ferguson Quotes

They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best.

I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living – and earning a living.

If Scotland and America go to war, I’m afraid I’ve already sworn in.

The truth is, you win the Lotto. That’s really how you have to approach it. You’re a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes.

I’m crazy. I know I’m crazy ’cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he’s very clever. He said, ‘You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.’ And I’m going to.

I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained.

I’m reading a book, because I’m brainy. No, it is a book – if you don’t know, it is like a blog except bigger.

I’m not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do.

If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I’m out. I’m gone.

I try and live my life in bite-size chunks.

I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.

I’ve got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now.

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don’t stop, I’m going to die.

It’s the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you’ve got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy.

I don’t know now if I’m funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that’s funny.

Don’t ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don’t want to be one.

It’s not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We’re not afraid of failure.

You know, your whole life you’re concerned about money for this and that. And then you don’t have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff.

The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman.

A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself.

I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.

All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals.

Is it really that important? It’s just television, for God’s sake. It’s not medicine or something.

I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn’t mean that at all. It means that you’re afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right.

It’s like, it’s kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that’s my show. It’s a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it.

I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, ‘Well, you’re supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.’ It’s an appropriate feeling to feel.

I came to America, and I made good. It’s an old story, but it hasn’t been told in a long time. Usually, it’s, ‘I’m an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.’ My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it’s still available.

I don’t get emails from my corporate overlords.

I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I’m a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don’t care for it.

I think I’m just someone that just tries to get by. I’m kind of – if it was during the Second World War, I’d be a black marketeer, I think.