Brad Garrett Quotes

You can give a guy a funny line, but you can’t make him say it funny.

I come from the world of improv; I love any show or any vehicle that gives me an opportunity to be in the moment.

I was a strange kid. I never really fit in; I was never comfortable in my own skin because I was a giant kid with no athletic ability.

Actually, I have my own charity that I started that helps supplement families with terminal children.

My act is a little raunchy. When people come to my club, I have to warn them it isn’t Robert from ‘Raymond.’

I’m not big on game shows.

The night I won the Emmy, I probably cried for three hours on and off.

You have a bad day at the office, four people know. You suck in a movie, everyone knows.

I became a stand-up because that was my survival.

I am so fascinated and taken by the Golden Knights.

I love performing, and it’s important that I do it at my own club, absolutely. It’s good for me. It’s good for business.

It’s fun to play people who are flawed.

People who are bipolar, they kind of latch onto things that are fanatical sometimes.

I think we love watching people that are flawed because we’re all flawed.

I feel very, very grateful. I’m a lucky guy, you need a lot of luck, and then when the cameras roll, you have to have this group of writers, directors, and actors that just gel, and it seems to literally be happening more and more.

My whole life, I’ve been telling jokes.

Humor is healing.

It’s all I have left in my life, caffeine and a poodle.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren’t a comedian.

I believe it’s a real tedious hostage negotiation to have a marriage be what it is.

Sports were never my thing.

I’m totally, totally into old Vegas.

But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it’s not funny. There’s no conflict.

I don’t think we’re politically correct when we’re private. I don’t know what ‘politically correct’ means.

There’s a black man inside of me just trying to make bail.

It’s like whether you’re in a huge movie or you’ve just recorded an incredible album you’ve got to do the next thing, and that’s part of being an artist.

Athletics are not my wheelhouse because sports were mean to this uncoordinated kid growing up, a 6-foot-2 14-year-old who never could do a layup.

I’ve always wanted to play a coach in a movie, just to be the captain of anything in the pirate ship of my bathtub.

I’m out about my misogyny. Most men are misogynists, and most women are feminists. I work with a lot of women. They have their finger on the pulse of things. But women do things to other women that men would never do to other men.

Broadway was without doubt the hardest I ever worked in my life and the highest highs I’ve ever had as an actor. The unadulterated fear was on a level that was hard to explain.